Title: The Camping Trip From Hell, Take Two
Author: Lily Winterwood
Characters: Bill Adama, Laura Roslin, Lee Adama, Kara Thrace, and Billy Keikeya
Summary: Total Future!Adama Family crack from the same universe of the Grand Canyon crackfic. Obviously Bill, Laura, Lee, Kara, and Billy didn’t learn anything from the Camping Trip From Hell (aka trip to Kobol), because they’re going camping. Again. On Earth.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BSG, and I sure as hell don’t own the Lake Cachuma Recreational Area. That place is hell when the winds pick up.
Title: The Camping Trip From Hell, Take Two
Here are ten (general) fandom pet peeves of mine.
- Vampires popping up in stories they should stay away from. Not just those sparkly guys from Twilight, but ALL types of vampires infiltrating ALL fandoms. Seriously? Was it necessary to make Laura fall in love with Edward frakking Cullen?
- Mary Sues. Evilest of all evil character types. I hate it when a character can be pretty and smart and talented and OMGSPESHUL at the same time. I hate it when a character gets his/her way for no reason whatsoever. Especially when the whole story is just said character getting their way after way after way. There's no plot.
- DOM/sub relationship dynamics in a fic using a pairing with an equal sharing of power. The characters are most likely Out of Character. I especially hate Wimp!Laura and Evil!Bill. Where in all of BSG did you see Laura being a sniveling weakling? That's Gaius Baltar's schtick, kay? So stop frakking with Laura and Bill's characters like that.
- Smushed ship names. There are some that I can stand/like, but on the whole, NO NO NO. "Adamalin" sounds like a drug. "Rodama" sounds like a fantasy character. "Adoslin" sounds like Hitler gone wrong (or at least wronger than he already was). Nuff said? Nuff said.
- "R/R PLZ NO FLAMEZ!!11!!!" Oh, shut up, Suethor. There has never been a goodfic writer who put this in their summary. It detracts from the actual summary and is basically a shout-out to the crowd: "I SERIOUSLY SUCK AT WRITING BUT IF YOU READ THIS SHIT DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME AN ASSHAT OR I WILL SIC MY INTERNET LAWYERS ON YOU!1!!!!"
- Going with that train of thought - people who say they welcome constructive criticism but flip out at any criticism offered. Seriously? You just told us you want to make your story better but when we give you tips you consider that a blow to your already fragile ego? We're not trying to persecute you or anything; we're frakking trying to help.
- Crazy ubershippers who basically declare that their ship is Teh Holy and all other ships can go to hell. Gaius F. Baltar, I don't frakking care. I know that Adama/Roslin is cute and Canon and stuff, but that's not grounds to denounce Roslin/Baltar.
- Fics in the vein of "Celebrian", where the women are sexually degraded and molested and the guys all have freaking huge penises. Uh, no thank you. I'll go and read something that won't make me want to go after you and castrate you with my bare hands, kay?
- Thanksgiving/Fourth of July in England/Middle-earth/Narnia/Galactica. Even IF I do live in the US and I have a sense of patriotism, I think this is utterly ridiculous and Canon-shattering. The US is not everywhere and there are people who don't celebrate those holidays. (le gasp!)
- People taking one character and mushing it with another and calling the result an original character. Ever heard of Sonichu? No? Good. He's the brainchild of an autistic 25-year-old man-child who draws like he's in kindergarten and videotapes himself having sex with a blow-up doll and putting it on YouTube. Autism and all other disabilities do not waive asshattery. I've got flisters with bipolar disorder who write the best fics ever. Anyhow, back to the main peeve. Sonichu is a supposed Original Character and guess who the inspirations are? Sonic and Pikachu. Here, have a barf bag.
So there are some of my pet peeves. I know, I must be such an evil person who can't understand the meaning of free speech. Well, this is free speech, too.
Welcome to my lj, my newfound buddiesown_the_sky (*bows to thy epic icon-making skillz*) andoutintherain! Hope you've got your seatbelts fastened; it's going to be an insanely bumpy ride. :D
And for my other flisters, it's going to be the same insanely bumpy ride you've all undertaken so many times before. Heh.
I've been reading BagEnders - for all you psycho LotR fans who don't mind crackfic, GO READ IT. It'll make you double over laughing. Seriously. What's not to love about the Fellowship in the houseshare from hell? Kinda makes me want to write a drabble of life on Earth v.2, with immortal BSG characters all stuck in the same hous. Starring Colonel Tigh as Gandalf, Adama and Roslin as Aragorn and Legolas (kinda shows you how slashy BagEnders got), Starbuck and Leemo as Merry and Pippin (ditto), Billy as Boromir, Chief as Gimli, and I guess Gaius as Frodo, suffering from Post-Tool Of God Syndrome and still seeing Head!Six all over the place as he tries to cook dinner and act all housewifey over everyone else.
I'd totally see them reminescing over dinner about how we've progressed/recessed, complete with stories about Adama being in the US navy as an Admiral, how they all fought in the Civil War except for Roslin, who went to live with the Sioux/Comanche (total Dances With Wolves reference there), how, before that, how Gaius made a total fool of himself in Ancient Rome... :P
Anyways, I'm going to cut off my rambling. Why?
Cause I'm going CAMPING. Again. In the friggin' desert. There's no sense of temperature in this, is there?
Of course, there probably won't be intrawebz, so I'll be gone for the weekend starting Friday afternoon. I think.
But Friday's the seventeenth, so...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (in advance), MRS. F!
(and a happy belated birthday to julyflame and lil_ani and everyone else on my flist who had a birthday recently!)
I hope every single one of you birthday kids (and kids-at-heart) have a frakking awesome day! Don't eat too much cake! I ate too much ice-cream cake at my cousin's b-day party and I've renewed my hatred for whipped frosting. Especially the awful pale green sort that looks fit for Cake Wrecks. And speaking of wrecked cakes, hope you didn't have to send a photo of your cake over to that awesome blog because someone mispelled your name/mispelled "happy birthday"/had bad grammar/inappropriately decorated the cake/used incorrectly placed quotation marks/created a fugly cupcake cake (ptooey!) with four-inch thick frosting/etc.
Many happy returns! If you have requests for a sticky note doodle, don't hesitate to ask. :]
(confound it, where did I put the Doc Cottle one that I drew three months ago?)
[someone from the_ppcsics Grammer on Lily]
Anyways. The lack of grammar! It hurts our eyes, Precious! The corniness! AAAAAAAUGH I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M WRITING!!!
I need therapy. Now, please.
Anyways, in happier news! I made some Cylon Rave icons for icedteainthebag. They're not brilliant, but I was bored.
The Badfic Game's going along fine. :P Relatively. My OFU story (apologies tomisscam for mutilating OFUM) got all screwed up on the site.
Now I need to go drown myself in Bleeprin for writing a slash fic between my PPC Agent Eledhwen and my PPC Scientist Lori.
(Sorry, Mrs. F.)
Genre: Romance, Rating: R, Summary: Lori Starrett vowed to never love another. But what happens when she meets Eledhwen Elerossiel? R&R please. No flames.
( cut to spare your eyeballs )
*cough cough* Reasons why it’s badfic:
Eledhwen is not a lesbian. Lori is also not bisexual. Lori DID meet Bill. Lori fangirled Legolas, but they were never in a relationship. Lori is not the best scientist in HQ. There is way too much urple prose. Where is the fucking plot? Eledhwen is not one to fall in love/get a crush on someone so fast; she’s immortal for frak’s sake, she’s got plenty of time to do so. It took two years for the real Lori and Jennifer (writer of Eledhwen) to discover their (platonic or otherwise) love for each other, so there’s a total screwing with time here. Lori is not an emo kid; she is usually relatively cheerful and outgoing. Eledhwen’s elven grace would never let her collide with someone. What would Christianne and Bill Fallis say to this? Eledhwen’s style of speech is formal with occasional modern sayings (thanks to OFUM), not poetic archaic speech. Lori does not wear impractical clothes like long green dresses every day. She got recruited for being a zoology major, not a healer.
There will be more reasons… as this thing goes on.
So I'm also thinking of doing something so twisted, it'll make people glad that I normally don't write shit like this. It involves Eledhwen (the apparently Amazing Homosexual Elf :P) killing her partner because her partner, out of JELLUSY, kill Lori. And then the Flowers That Be end up deciding to let her go to the Galactica-verse and getting married to Laura Roslin before Bill. The idea makes me cringe, but yeah.
Be careful about your grammar and spelling, though. I'll be guessing who wrote what and sometimes that can narrow things down...