a little bit of nothing

If I heard De Santo correctly at Comic-Con a few weeks ago, his pre-Moore series idea was to reveal that the genocidal Cylons were secretly taking their marching orders from humans. Other reports suggest De Santo wanted a Boxey-led colonial fleet to battle a borgified Apollo, who was apparently assimilated into the Cylon fleet via cybernetic implants.

And how would modern fans greet a new Galactica shorn of Laura Roslin, Bill Adama, Kara Thrace and Galen Tyrol?

1. Vampires popping up in stories they should stay away from. Not just those sparkly guys from Twilight, but ALL types of vampires infiltrating ALL fandoms. Seriously? Was it necessary to make Laura fall in love with Edward frakking Cullen?
2. Mary Sues. Evilest of all evil character types. I hate it when a character can be pretty and smart and talented and OMGSPESHUL at the same time. I hate it when a character gets his/her way for no reason whatsoever. Especially when the whole story is just said character getting their way after way after way. There's no plot.
3. DOM/sub relationship dynamics in a fic using a pairing with an equal sharing of power. The characters are most likely Out of Character. I especially hate Wimp!Laura and Evil!Bill. Where in all of BSG did you see Laura being a sniveling weakling? That's Gaius Baltar's schtick, kay? So stop frakking with Laura and Bill's characters like that.
4. Smushed ship names. There are some that I can stand/like, but on the whole, NO NO NO. "Adamalin" sounds like a drug. "Rodama" sounds like a fantasy character. "Adoslin" sounds like Hitler gone wrong (or at least wronger than he already was). Nuff said? Nuff said.
5. "R/R PLZ NO FLAMEZ!!11!!!" Oh, shut up, Suethor. There has never been a goodfic writer who put this in their summary. It detracts from the actual summary and is basically a shout-out to the crowd: "I SERIOUSLY SUCK AT WRITING BUT IF YOU READ THIS SHIT DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME AN ASSHAT OR I WILL SIC MY INTERNET LAWYERS ON YOU!1!!!!"
6. Going with that train of thought - people who say they welcome constructive criticism but flip out at any criticism offered. Seriously? You just told us you want to make your story better but when we give you tips you consider that a blow to your already fragile ego? We're not trying to persecute you or anything; we're frakking trying to help.
7. Crazy ubershippers who basically declare that their ship is Teh Holy and all other ships can go to hell. Gaius F. Baltar, I don't frakking care. I know that Adama/Roslin is cute and Canon and stuff, but that's not grounds to denounce Roslin/Baltar.
8. Fics in the vein of "Celebrian", where the women are sexually degraded and molested and the guys all have freaking huge penises. Uh, no thank you. I'll go and read something that won't make me want to go after you and castrate you with my bare hands, kay?
9. Thanksgiving/Fourth of July in England/Middle-earth/Narnia/Galactica. Even IF I do live in the US and I have a sense of patriotism, I think this is utterly ridiculous and Canon-shattering. The US is not everywhere and there are people who don't celebrate those holidays. (le gasp!)
10. People taking one character and mushing it with another and calling the result an original character. Ever heard of Sonichu? No? Good. He's the brainchild of an autistic 25-year-old man-child who draws like he's in kindergarten and videotapes himself having sex with a blow-up doll and putting it on YouTube. Autism and all other disabilities do not waive asshattery. I've got flisters with bipolar disorder who write the best fics ever. Anyhow, back to the main peeve. Sonichu is a supposed Original Character and guess who the inspirations are? Sonic and Pikachu. Here, have a barf bag.